Technology- Push the Button

It is unfair to say that I am not a fan of modern technology, but I would say that there sure as hell are parts of it that are not my friend. I do not know what is my issue with keeping my devices charged, as it would surely be a simple thing to plug them in each night. This small move would assure that I am rip roarin’ ready in the morning, but in my defense, you can only plug the damn things in, if you can find them! It is a running joke about where have I left my phone in the office. I spend time each day looking for my iPad, to view the App that tells me where I left my phone. Oh it’s comical alright. Little do they know that I also misplace the bugger at home, in the car and well, just about everywhere I go. My husband, Chance, gives me a lot of grief over this, but in fact, he is likewise missing a lot of expensive hats! Just sayin’

The frustration with my electronic items does not stop there. I also cannot find the chargers that go with them. In the rare instance that I do have a charger, it is not the right one. Why the heck do they make so many different kinds and that does not even count the cords that hook them to other uncooperative things like my computer or my car.

It has been my greatest triumphs to figure out how to FaceTime with my kids, down or upload videos onto YouTube (I’m never sure which one it is) and set up my iPod with a killer playlist which is Blue Toothed to my new mini speaker. Booyah, this girl is on fire!! My Nikon can magically send pics to an App on my iPad, my FitBit can tell me when to pee, and I can set my coffee maker to perk a cup of Frappe latte at 4:30 a.m. every morning. What more do I need?

A lot. These are just gateway devices. There is a hell of a lot more to explore, but I gotta take it slow. Keeping up with technology is imperative for living my Red Shoe Life, but I usually end up in a virtual reality nightmare of an endless warren of wires, and the monotonous hum of a aol dial up.

Figuring out technology can be frustrating, but it is key to keeping up with current events, medical breakthroughs and of course, the Kardashians. Surfing the internet helps me carry on an intellectual conversation, save money on my car insurance and experience world events as if I were actually there. It stimulates my brain, keeps the temperature in my home at a steady 72 degrees and allows me to order a 50 bag of sheep food to be delivered without ever leaving the house.

If you think that sounds exciting, be sure to check out my latest YouTube video called Red Shoe Life-Virtual Reality for a good laugh. The kids gave me a quick tutorial on a few simple technical games and had a hearty snicker at my expense. Truly, if you want to know how to figure out something technical… ask a kid.

Guys, all joking aside, this is serious. Being able to use technology is a key component to living a Red Shoe Life, and it is very easy for it to get ahead of you. Don’t let it intimidate you. There are whole stores full of people just standing around waiting for you to ask them a question (and sell you the latest gizmo). Ask them. Ask everyone until you understand. Don’t be afraid. There isn’t a button on any home gadget that will end the universe. Live your Red Shoe Life and push the button. Push all the buttons.

I do, when I can find them.

Oh Snap!

I will rise, but I’ll be damn if I’ll shine… or at least for a few more hours.  I am dragging a bit today, and geez, I think I have a right to be.  It is nothing catastrophic, but it is overwhelming.  So what’s got me down.. this time?  Well, besides my beloved Mini is in the shop for a bs sensor issues, the idiot hardwood floor people are showing up today (maybe) to check out the roots that has been growing into my carpet from the pile of wood that has been in my dining room since Christmas, I didn’t get home from work until 9:30 p.m. last night and am back here again at 7:30 a.m. dressed as a flapper (which believe me is getting very very very old), I missed my kickboxing class (due to above grievance),  let’s see.. oh yes, my doctor, who says he  has important information regarding test results from last week’s visit, didn’t call me yesterday…and an incredibly long list of other piss-ant crap.

So, what to do about it?  Since it is not on my Keto diet to have tequila for breakfast, and sorry Lisa S., I can’t kill anybody, I guess I will do the Red Shoe Life thing and work my way up from the bottom.

1).  I will drive husband’s hooptie really fast,  eat all of his sugar-free gum,  and leave my coffee cup in the holder 🙂

2). Put red underwear on the pile of flooring and when the guys show up, I’ll ask them to leave it just a little longer….

3).  Call my doctor to ask for note for work since I was unable to go due to my “important” medical issue.

4).  Give note to employer and take the rest of the week off. 🙂

5). Go to kickboxing class tonight and beat the shit out of the heavy bag

I guess some days you just have to “suck it up buttercup” and today, I’ll do it dressed as a flapper!

Family Fun

Today was a stress free “fun” day with the twins.  As you know, part of my Red Shoe Life is to spend more time with my friends and family.  It is rare that I get the boys all to myself without endless tasks revolving around their school, scouts, karate or marching band, so I made plans to do some cool stuff.   I really try to make the most of what little non-working time that I have and today the sun was shining and I had the whole day to do what I ever wanted to do.

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So, of course, I let them sleep in while I ran and got hay from Brunswick Feed.  I sorta like going to BF.  There is usually one or two woman my age working their ass off hauling bales of hay or 50 lb bags of feed.  There is always a mental “thumbs up” when I shop there.  The place let’s me play at being “farmy”,  while not being intimidated by a bunch of “farmers”.  Does that make sense?  I always think I hear something like that salsa commercial when I walk into some of the more redneck co-ops…”There she is…New York City…”  aw… screw em!  I enjoy my little place and just because I’m wearing a tiara and  red high heels while I’m on the tractor… too damn bad!

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The rest of the day was filled with baking Winter peppermint cookies, snowflake Pizzelles and drinking hot cocoa.  Of course, the boys were more enthused about baking when I said we could take some to their girlfriends, but a mom’s gotta do, what a mom’s gotta do.

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We did manage to get the animals all re-organized and ready for more cold weather as well as get the hay put in the barn.   I even put dried rosemary in the chicken nesting boxes.  (Thanks to all the  trimmings from my friends, Hardy and Mary Patricia!)  I hear rosemary makes the chickens lay  more eggs… who knew?  At least it smells better than poultry poop.

All in all, it has been a great day, and although we will spend all of our time tomorrow putting away the last of the Christmas decorations… today was all about fun!

 

Woman vs Wild

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Although I was home for a week and wanted to work on my projects,  my toe surgery was still an issue, so climbing ladders or moving heavy crap was not on my radar.  I DUD have the place looking rather spiffy with every nook and cranny decorated for fall, but I wanted the house to look extra good because I was actually getting ready to have COMPANY.   This was the first time in a very long time to fuss around and I was having a ball.  My sister-in-law and brother-in-law were visiting from Vermont, and we were planning BIG FUN!

As usual, however, it was a major clean up to get ready and there were a few things that didn’t get finished.  I was kinda bummed that it wasn’t perfect, but I had to remember my own advice and try not to sweat the small stuff.

The good news is, my sister-in-law is a wild woman too and the home renovation project got a little shot in the arm when she demanded a power drill and climbed up on top of a conglomeration of chairs and stools to reach the top of the sun room. She is a tiny little woman, so this was quite a feat!   I dug screws and various items from the deepest scary parts of my garage, and I held the damn rack while she drove it home!

I now have my beautiful wrought iron rack proudly displayed over the windows where I can see it from the kitchen and my metal wall art that looks like a quilt, positioned over an old bench on the porch (don’t even ask how she did that!)

Thank you, Faith, for being YOU, and helping out in my “Woman vs. Wild” Home Improvement project!  You Rock!