Exorcise Your Pumpkin Butt

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Hopefully, your September posture challenge will finish up strong this week. I can say that my neck and shoulders have never been so traumatized, but after almost 30 days of lifting, stretching and flailing my arms around like I’m on fire, I do actually seem to be standing up a little straighter.  Posture Coach Challenge 

I am planning to continue the posture torture and as we go through our Red Shoe Life exercises, will  add the new exercises each month to our routine.

This next challenge will begin in October and I wanted it to have a Halloween theme.  Should it  feature exercizes for Bat Wings? Goblin Guts? Witches T*ts? No!! It suddenly became obvious ( uh for OBvIOuS reasons). October’s challenge will be all about the Base, or should I say our Pumpkin Butts!

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Yes, I have multitudes of friends who do everything in their power to make their butts BIGGER.  Sorry guys, that is just not the look I’m after and before I get in trouble, that’s all I’m going to say.   At this time, I am not shooting for buns of steel here… just a little less lead!

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So, Pumpkin Butts, be prepared to get BAKED!

Give these three exercises as often as possible throughout your day.  I have selected these three because they are relatively easy, do not require gymnastics, and can be done in the privacy of your own home (if you choose… I know what exhibitionists you all are!)

I have not listed a determined amount of repetitions, as it is different for everyone.  If you are after some “beaut glutes”, than do more.  If you haven’t budged from the Barcalounger for decades, than start slow…

Here ya go:

1. The squeeze…. And yes, if you are doing this in line at Walmart, people can tell!  Wait until no one is looking and tighten the muscles in your ass several times.  Done and done.

2. The lift.  Standing while holding on to a sink, bar stool or other stationery object lift your leg (one at a time) directly behind you with a straight knee  (no pun intended).  Increase reps each day.

3.The Badonkadonk Bridge. This one is done on the floor or while your still in bed, lying flat on your back with bended knees. Now hoist that derriere straight up with your arms at your sides for extra umpf!  Every morning and every night with increasing repetitions should just about do it!

There are a million other exercises for beautiful booties, and some look pretty damn ridiculous.  Check out a few videos that I recommend on my Pinterest Board under Health and Fitness. (see link) What do you have to lose except your Oh Lordy, Gourdy!

Red Shoe Life Transformation    Pinterest

Change the Way You Kiss!

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Leave it to my friend, Debra Parmley, the Romance novelist, to throw a sexy afternoon party!  I had previously posted that I had gotten away from visiting my friends and particularly meeting new people, so when Debra’s invitation to a LipSense party showed  up on Facebook, I gleefully puckered up, put on my best sock (remember, foot in a boot) and rolled over to her house.

This soiree was being sponsored by Penny Stein, who did a wonderful job displaying, explaining and letting us try on stuff   This product is really long lasting and I truthfully have had it on for hours with it looking exactly the same as when I first put it on.

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Debra was trying out her “Red Shoe Life” by wearing bright red lipstick for the first time!!!  It looks FABULOUS!

I did get a little crazy and try on the black lipstick with the gold glitter, but I’m not sure you all are ready for this jelly!

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I will say that this party was a new one on me in more ways than one as half the guests were “live” on Facebook, and others were Face Timing…. poor Penny didn’t know where to look!  Haha!  Technology!  Amazing!

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This is Maxie.  She Face Timed the party and is ready for her close up! (See, I think the black looks better on her!)

If you are interested in checking out this amazing lipstick and all of their other no smear products, here is Penny’s info.:  Pictureperfectlips@bellsouth.net.   If you are interested in finding out more about Debra’s romance novels, here is her website: http://debraparmley.com/  These ladies were so much fun, and I really enjoyed being out there in the world again!

So, BTW, the tagline for this line of lipsticks says that it offers to “Change the Way You Kiss” since it won’t come off until you take it off.  (Hmmm.. I’ve heard that before in a hotel room…”  just kidding…  This is great stuff.. so Boys, hold onto your lips… here I come!

Home Alone with Keto

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With some time on my hands (or should I say my foot) while I wait for the “GO” signal from my doctor, I thought that I would chat a little bit about the type of foods that I have been making to help with my ALMOST 50 lbs weight loss.  And NO, I didn’t cut off a toe for a coupla of pounds, but I did lose six while I’ve been sitting on my ass.  Apparently, my new bionic toe joint weights less than the old one?  What does that say about my long walks and hectic work schedule?????

Today, as you can see, I had a lovely lunch of leftovers, but delicious just the same.  I heated up some chicken legs to go with  raw spinach, guacamole, salsa, parm cheese and black olives for lunch.  There are some awesome Southwestern spices on that chicken, and I did contemplate getting my sombrero out for the pic, but honestly, my toe hurts and my garage is a dangerous place.

If you are looking for more KETO ideas, check out my Pinterest pins “Red Shoe Life Transformation”

 

Dumb Ass

Ok, drum roll please….the award goes to ME for being a great big dumb ass today.  As you know, I had some foot surgery on Wednesday.   I’m not the first person in history to have foot surgery, and considering I am surrounded by much stronger women on a daily basis, I didn’t think  f&&^^*%ing  around with my big toe joint was going to be much of a problem for me.

Surgery was Wednesday, and although my kids were really messing with my head by saying it was morning when it was still the same day (rat bastards), I stopped taking the pain meds on day two.  My foot has about a 5 inch cut from my toe nail up my foot, and I only saw this cause I took the bandage off, which I was also not suppose to do.  All in all, I’ll probably never be a sandal model now, but there really has never been any real danger of that with my size 10 clodhoppers.

I rented a knee scooter, which I thought was the bomb and had vision of me racing up and down the halls at work, merrily bringing coffee back to my desk, where I would put my foot up and spend some quality time with my computer.

Well, truth be known.. I couldn’t work the scooter.  I was so unsteady I thought I’d break my other foot.  My thighs were shaking and the handles hurt the rest of my rheumatoid so bad I had to steer with the palms of my hands.  I broke out in a sweat and my head hurt until I nearly threw up just taking the damn thing out of the box.  There really should be warning labels on it….  “Must be a Tri-athlete”

So, of course, I parked it in my den and left it there in case I need a footrest.

I couldn’t arrange a ride , so I drove myself to work after removing my boot and made the one hour trip with relatively no pain….. until I got out of the Mini-Cooper.

I hobbled up the sidewalk with my kid’s martial arts cane,  stopping only every time I wanted to pee my pants.  This was not going well.

Needless to say, the day was awful and unless I put my foot up on top of  my desk, it was not elevated at all.   #hurtslikehell.

Ok, ok, I called my boss and told her that I surrendered.  I am staying home tomorrow and most likely the rest of the week until I see the doc on Friday who will undoubtedly kill me.  I don’t know why I just had to go to work, maybe I just didn’t want to use up all of my vacation time on something so stupid.  I think perhaps we just get used to being the work horse.  In fact, I do not care for women who are weak and frail and whine about their various illnesses all the time.  I avoid them like the plague especially  when there are people who are truly ill that plow through their issues and live their life anyway.

I know that there must be a happy medium between  being my hypochondriac grandmother and my martyr mother who’s favorite saying even when you were bleeding out was “Eh, go take an aspirin!”

As far as today…I was wrong.  I made a huge mistake and I am sorta embarrassed to have been so stubborn.  What will I do about it?  “Eh, I’ll go take an aspirin…  and sit my dumb ass on the couch where I will await further instructions from people who know better.”

Wyncies Woolery

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Named for the lovely lane in England where my husband’s grandmother lived.  “The Wyncies'”  thatched roof cottages and winding country lanes stole my heart and began my obsession with all things sheepy!

My little flock include Old English Southdown Baby Dolls and Shetlands, who boast names like Agnes, Andrew and Penelope. Both breeds are miniature in stature, but surely make up for it in personality!

Of course, I will be blogging now and then about my escapades with wool, but today my post is about making woolen dreadlocks.

I know, I know, unusual you say. Well, not really. Just unusual in MY world until now.  I have been having so much creative fun with this.  Just Google woolen dreads and you will see the most amazing works of art. They are dyed awesome colors and adorned with beads, fabrics and beautiful jewelry… All of which is right up my ally.

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It is a lengthy process if you start by shearing your own sheep.

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Then the fleece is sent to a fiber mill…which takes six weeks and eventually it returns to me like this!

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then comes the fun part of making them into dreads.

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and dying them.

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And then you get to wear them!!!

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Hahaha! You guys should never let me stay home by myself!

 

 

 

 

Toe Job Update

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Maisie Moonbeam has been keeping things under control by holding down the couch and making sure no crumbs hit the floor.  She has been at my side the entire time and seems quite concerned for her mom.  Maggie, the Sheepdog, on the other hand, remains unaffiliated and has tried everything she could to block the scooter.

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With all things considered, I’m feeling a bit better, though boredom is starting to set in.  I had a great list of things to do while I was at home, but dang I am crazy dizzy (haha more than normal) and it is hard to feel motivated.

My plans to finish writing my book continues on schedule, the posture challenge for September is grueling on wards and I am slowly creeping toward the 50 lb. weight loss mark, so not doing too badly.   Sometimes my goals seem very far away, but I try to think about how far I have come.  The foot thing has been more of a pain in my ass, than in my toe, and that is mainly due to great meds and a lumpy coach.  I try to look at it as taking control of my issues rather than sitting around whining that things aren’t going my way and sometimes I gotta look at the end result rather than what’s going on at the moment.  Yeah, missing the twin’s marching band show yesterday sucked, but with my new bionic toe, I can be assured I will be able to flip burgers in the concession stand for the rest of the season without pain.  Go Tigers!

Looking forward to being back at work on Monday, I think, and moving ahead with my next Red Shoe Life Challenge! Many thanks to everyone who took up the slack while I’ve been out! Smooch !  See you soon.

 

What’s Up Doc?

Living a Red Shoe Life means living it to it’s fullest.  One very important way, is to take care of your body.  I can honestly say it has been years since I’ve been to see some of my doctors, but it always seems to come in line after everything else.

For example, there is no tellin how long it’s been since my last eye exam.  If it wasn’t for Dollar Tree cheaters, I probably wouldn’t be able to BLOG at all!

So, with my Red Shoe Life in mind, I have started making some appts. and with that came the big decision to have surgery on my frozen toe joints.  RA is a tough customer, but with my Red Shoe plans, there is no room for foot pain.  So, yesterday off I went at 5:15 a.m. and then this happened….

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So after a little joint reconstruction , a bit of bone grafting and a weirdo cyst taken out of my bone, I’m good as new!

I got my new knee scooter today, which is not as easy to use as I thought it would be, but I’ll be back at Tango lessons in a few weeks!

So this week while I have a little free time, I’m going to be making some long overdue calls and get it over with.  Seriously gang, taking care of your body is important.  I know it can be pricey and time consuming, but the price of ignoring your health is even higher. Not only does it cost you in dollars, but it could cost you living your Red Shoe Life!

As I go forward with my transformation, it becomes clearer and clearer how important it is to be cognizant of every facet of my life.  Your health is a big one, so make sure seeing your doctors are on the TOP of the list.  Suffering from a preventable issue is inexcusable.  I’ve got places to go and a Red Shoe Life to live, so off I go to seize the day before the day seizes me!

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