Best Made Plans…

Everyone in our house woke up early (notice I didn’t say “bright and early”) to get a head-start on this Sunday morning to Hardy, Arkansas.  If you have never been to the beautiful state of Arkansas, you are really missing something, and I was actually looking forward to the long mountainous trek.  Right off the bat, things started to go to hell in a hand-basket. While doing the last minute check list,  the twins discovered that they were supposed to take two online courses before showing up for their month’s duty at Kia Kima Scout Reservation as Camp Staff.

“No worries” I mumbled, and headed towards my peaceful porch with a steaming cup of Bulletproof coffee as they ran up to the office to fire up the computer.   I had already resigned myself to the fact that this day was going to be devoted completely to the twins’ transportation and starting a little late wasn’t going to be so bad.  It did mean that we would not be having bacon and eggs at a roadside Stuckey’s, but it wouldn’t ruin the day.

I grabbed a bunch of glutenous  noodles from last night dinner, a bucket of chicken/sheep food, two sheep dogs and a hot pink scoop full of Meow Mix for our menagerie and sprinted for the coop making sure to knock out all outdoor chores before we went to save myself from doing it in the dark on our return.  Once I was back inside, I kicked off my rubber yard shoes while expecting wails of “Hurry UP MOM!!!” from the front door.  Instead I found everyone still milling around the computer with one twin “almost finished with his first course”.

After another cup of coffee, I started my pacing and grinding of teeth, now furious that my last weekend day was being RUINED by what is a typical expedition with this crew.

I snatched my dulcimer, headed for the porch and started banging out some Arkansas Turkey in the Straw at an alarming tempo, enough to scatter all the cats to yards unknown.  Why are they always so unorganized???  This is the usual plot to piss me off again!!!!  I must be the only one at my age that still has kids without driver’s licences!!!  Maybe if they didn’t always have that cell phone up their ass, they would READ their emails and know about things like mandatory online courses!!!!  If it were up to me, they shouldn’t even be GOING to camp, especially since they just got back from Sea Base in the freakin’ Bahamas!!!! (Don’t even get me started on how MUCH that cost!!!)

As my temper calmed down a bit, I began to think about my Transformation and my vow to break the habit of me always ending up in this state of mind.  Short of  kicking someone, what could I do to change my mood?  I know that people will always do stuff to rile me up, but it is up to me as to how I react.  I began to play my beautiful dulcimer like it is supposed to be played (well at least as beautifully as I know how to play) and forced myself to think about how nice it was to sit on the porch and enjoy the morning. I am not going to say that I magically became an enlightened fairy with butterflies in my hair and flowers sprouting from my cleavage, but I did try to look on the bright side.  The bright side was that, all things considered, I would still get home with 2 hours before I went to bed. I’d get to spend untold hours in the car listening to “their” music, and the best part….  they were going to be at camp for a month!

So now I am home after more than 7 hours in the car, and as I ran back down to the pasture to tuck everybody in for the night, I noticed how quiet it was.   Could it be that I already missed them fighting over who helped me last and that they definitely did NOT want to do the chickens?  Nope…   and I might even enjoy that for a little while!

Only you can let yourself be mad.  Only you can make words come out of your mouth, and only you have the choice to react to other people’s actions.  So if you’re mad…  that’s up to you and to quote some of my ladies at work:  “You can get glad in the same britches you got mad in!!!”

I hope you found some time this weekend to find your special red pair of shoes and I’ll be back tomorrow to talk about how to wear them. Until then –Deb.

Where to start?

Although I wouldn’t change most of my 30+ years as a mom, (well, except for those times at Band Camp) I did kinda lose “ME” in the process.  Taking a good look at myself, it was not a pretty picture.   We won’t go into all of the mental issues of suddenly being an “empty-nester” (and some of my kids surely did make me MENTAL), but will focus on my more noticeable issues.  I was no longer at soccer practice, scouts and school anymore, and did actually find a career where I could excel, but I didn’t feel like a successful business woman and I certainly didn’t look like one!  My purse weirdly resembled a diaper bag, most of my clothes looked like maternity garb, and, oh yeah, I was still driving the family hooptie to my new executive job.  The car thing really chapped my ass, and although I admit the mini-van was an improvement over the hunk magnet ride “Clifford”, our 15 passenger cherry red monster, it still looked like a preschool shuttle bus.

So, with new found determination and checkbook in hand, I headed to the local dealership to announced I wanted to buy a car.  With one shaky swoop of my Kroger pen (found in the bottom of the Purse of Doom)  I was suddenly a chick with a hot car! This was freakin’ fantastic! Notice I didn’t say I was a hot chick with a car, but I felt I was headed in the right direction.

I have not regretted one single monthly payment since then and I love it when I hear people say “Hey lady, I like your car!”  The chromium plated, fully illuminated, genuine accessory shift knobs, along with sunroof top, cute key fob and the oh so wonderful seat warmers would make any woman swoon!

I will always be the mom of six wonderful kids, but for now…  they have to ride with their dad.  This car is ALL MINE!

Change is scary and change is hard.  Sometimes we arrive at a moment in our lives and we look  around and wonder “what the hell is going on????”  It’s OK!  The hardest part is just figuring out which direction to go.  After that, as I always say… “All you need is a plan, and a shiny red pair of shoes!”

“Why does she keep saying stuff about RED SHOES?” you may ask.  Remember the Good Witch in the “Wizard of Oz” told Dorothy after she had spent the entire movie running around asking people to help her, that she had the power all along.  She only had to figure out how to use it and that is where I come in.

As a Life Coach, I help many people find their goals, make a plan and help them begin!  Check out this BLOG each day for ideas, suggestions and comic relief about life and Transformation Together we can take a look at where you are, what the hell is going on and see if you need  a hot car too!   See you tomorrow!


If the Shoe Fits…

Lions, tigers and bears, OH WTH???  I suddenly realized that the life I was living was EXACTLY like the Wizard of Oz!  Flying monkeys, herds of munchkins, bad fashion choices and even a couple of wicked biotches.  This was ridiculous! When I really started to think about it, it was almost comical.   I was spending my days with people who were “heartless”, “clueless”, “chicken shits” and definitely people who wanted to blow green smoke up my ass, pretending to be someone they were not.  Hell, I even have a little dog!

Just like the movie, I was running around asking everyone’s advice and never really finding the answers.  I knew I wasn’t getting where I wanted to go, and I sure as hell wasn’t getting any younger.  Who could I blame? Surely, it wasn’t a giant gust of wind with sailing chickens.  Then who’s fault was it and who could help me figure this out?  I spent a lot of time fussing around and though I hated to admit it, the answer was clear. If I got myself into a life that didn’t thrill me, like Dorothy, I was going to figure out how to use my power to find the answers myself.  I didn’t need anyone, not even a fairy godmother.  All I needed was a plan… and a shiny pair of red shoes.

After many years of helping other people achieve their Optimum Life, I decided to take my show on the “Yellow Brick Road” and see where my own Transformation leads.  As a Life Coach, I would be happy to pack a bigger  picnic basket if you would like to join me.  If you are ready for YOUR Transformation, or you just want to cheer me on for mine, check out my Red Shoe Life Transformation Blog each day for tips, suggestions and overall comic relief.