Move Your Buns!

My anxiety was really climbing even though I was intermittently having out of body experiences and was using deep breathing techniques.  The single line of tight kneed patrons thread up and down the aisles of the Alabamian truck stop as the mop armed cashier apologized for having only one working toilet.  So much for their name “Taj Ma-stall”.

As I leaned from foot to foot a tattooed mama got in line behind me with a huff.  She had one sweaty kid on her hip and another one stuck up her ass. (been there, done that).  She grimaced an acknowledgement of my presence and there we stood with what I thought was me empathizing with her plight.

Suddenly her he-man counter part stormed up to her, demanding, “What the hell are you DOING?”

“You told me to git hot dogs!”

“This is the line to the bathroom! He sputtered with the fur from his back waving as he pointed towards the rear of the store.

“I know THAT” she stomped, “it’s just that SHE is in the way of the buns!!! ”

WTH ???  Why didn’t she say so??? She could have had their lunch ten minutes ago!

I looked at the woman and stepped aside so she could grab the weiners with her free hand.

I just shook my head, but it started me thinking about many times  I had wanted to say something.but just didn’t.  Why? Who knows? Maybe it was just because I thought it was easier not to stir the pot, no matter the inconvenience to myself.  So worried to make waves, I’d play referee and always take the calmest course.  No squeaky wheel here.

Ok, with this new perspective, it looks like I need to work on some things.  First off,  I’ll try to say what I mean when it needs to be said. I’m not talking about becoming rude or demanding. I’m just talking about grabbing my buns when I need to grab them  without mincing words or fluffing up my back hair!

Living a Red Shoe Life means being in control of yourself and if you are not getting what you want, put both hands on your buns and ask for it!




Road Trip

My bags were packed, all set to go.  The rent-a-car looked like something from Mad Max Beyond Thunder Dome with all of our gear strapped to the top, and was appropriately called Nissan “Rogue”.  The hatchback was squeezed closed with only a small porthole for rearview vision and with all the electronic devices plugged in, I was ready to roll.

road trip

The house was secured and the mega Excel spreadsheet of pet feeding and sprinkler setting  was taped to the fridge.  Between the electric fences, killer attack sheep and the weak bladdered 125 pound dog, the list of volunteers was very short.  Thankfully, every day the roster was full of willing participants at the house, so I had no worries.  (Thank you guys!)

So my newest adventure began and I really did a lot of preparation for this trip.  Some of the biggest challenges of being on the road, beside the other passenger’s choice of music and fighting over the charging ports, is being at the mercy of restaurant food and the ritual of snacking in the car.  I have not progressed to the point where I can do a long road trip without pouting about snacks, so I packed my cooler with homemade iced green teas, cut up veggies and travel packs of guacamole.   I will say I did miss the CHOCOLATE and the Pringles, but I brought a bag of pork rinds and raw nuts, so I didn’t miss it that much.  Hell, I used to break open the goodies before I even left the driveway.  This was going to put me to the test. 


Being on a trip might not be as easy as eating at home, but so far so good.  Another couple of tips is I packed my own heavy cream in the cooler and stevia for coffee during the trip, along with a couple of fresh lemons to add to my bottled water.  Now I wish you could have seen me trying to squeeze the damn lemon into my water bottle at 80 miles an hour, so I do suggest you doctor up your stash when you make a pit stop.

Unforeseen extra hours of traffic delivered me to my first stop three hours late.  Normally this would have sent me into psycho-space, but I have been practicing controlled road rage and was very proud that I arrived with all of my hair


Tonight finds me tired, but triumphant in locating the hotel gym and put in some quality time with my friend the treadmill.  I forgot my ear buds, so I just talked to myself and winced at the view of the 4 walls of mirrors.  Geez! Somehow I feel like a different person though, I actually brought my sneakers for something more than comfort.  How exciting!

Tomorrow, after I check out of Barter Town, I’ll head further south to take on the challenge of relatives and holiday celebrations with food.  There is a lot of beach walking and swimming during my trip, so hopefully if I fall off the “Rogue” wagon,    I’ll make up for it in sweat equity.  I’ll think of exercise as a “Master Blaster!”  Ok, enough Mad Max jabs, just keep in mind that with enough preparation and willpower, you can even survive “Thunder Dome!” (or family vacation, whatever you want to call it!)



It’s Your Road

“It’s your road and yours alone.  Other’s may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you!” 
Image result for it's your road
I didn’t actually wear red heels to the gym tonight, but I was surely “walking the walk!”
My day was  somewhat hurried and had lots of tasks to complete before my vacation.  Although my work days are always filled with wonderful and fun things, there were just too many of them today and I even missed most of the Magic Show due to endless phone calls.  I kept thinking about the long list still to do and was not looking forward to the evening ahead.
My hour long drive home wasn’t without incident and it was then that I realized that I had missed an opportunity to hang out with a friend, basically because I thought today was Wednesday instead of Thursday!  Today was just too much and I started thinking about ways to get out of doing it all.
By the time I got home I just sat on the couch in a coma for about 15 minutes before I could even decide which thing to do first.
Finally I just threw up my hands and decided enough was enough.  I was so unfocused I couldn’t think straight.  I had been so busy, I hadn’t had a chance to work on my Red Shoe Life, so I decided to rack up a few points with my coach and go to the gym.  I changed into my “stretchy pants” and headed West.  The gym, by the way, was NOT on the list and was probably the LAST thing I should have been doing tonight.  Or so I thought…
I spent the first 15 minutes doing a mile or so on one of the walking contraptions and immediately was bored to tears.   So, for the first time I decided to walk on the rubberized track that hovers over the gym.  It is extremely high and looks out over the basketball goals.  Since you all know how accident prone I am, I can just hear you shouting for me to stay away from the edge.  Relax, there is really no way that I can think of, that I could plunge to the foul line. (I made sure!)   The sign said 12 Laps equals 1 mile, all of which you must do going in just one direction.  I wasn’t sure if I had that much sparkle left for power walking, but I just put one foot in front of the other to see how far I’d get.  The further I went, the better it felt…. so I kept going.  The good news is, that I did all 12 laps.  I must be getting stronger because I didn’t get tired at all.  Now, I could have started a fire with the sparks that were shooting off my spandex, but all in all I did ok.
The even better news is, the exercise helped me chill out about my long list of “to-do’s” and helped me reset my anxiety level.  I know that the 2 hours it took out of my evening to go to the gym might have seemed a waste of time when I was so busy, but it really was the opposite.
There are just some days that are a little too much, but you have to roll up your sleeves and take care of business. Whatever it takes, you gotta put one foot in front of the other and just do it…. and it has to be YOU, no one else can do it for you.
Going to the gym boosted my energy, helped burn up some calories, and helped me to go after the rest of the night with a better attitude.  You have to put the effort in to accomplish the things you need to do. So you might as well get busy!
I finished my night with a little weight lifting and shot some basketballs with my family.  I was glad I went and I was glad I didn’t talk myself out of going.  I put in the time.  I put in the effort, and I alone will enjoy the rewards of walking on my own road!

Summer Heat and Turtlenecks…

car with luggage 3.jpg  Summer vacations really brings out my worst fears.  Oh there are the typical fears that most people have, such as did I turn off the iron?  Will the car over-heat, and, of course, will we be killed in our sleep if we pick the wrong hotel?  These are all worthy concerns, but there is something else that gives me cold sweats on even the hottest nights.  I have traveled all over the world, and my fears are the same whether I am going to to Paris, TN or Paris, France.  It is the question on every woman’s mind:   “Does this make me look fat?”

I stressed so hard before going to my son’s wedding in Cancun, Mexico.  What the hell DO you wear to a beach wedding in July heat unless you are twenty and Twiggy?  I was so freaked out about what I would do if it was windy and my skirt blew up…  not that someone would see something inappropriate.. but they might see my fat thighs!!!  I wasn’t worried about my hair-do, I was horrified that my bat-wing arms might jiggle when I danced.   I seriously considered a turtle neck, but in the end I wore a floor length dress with a “shawl”.  Sigh…

This summer holiday season will find me on the sands of south Florida…. the land of sunshine and beautiful beaches.   Well, I’ll be AT the beach alright, but I’ll be buried somewhere in a pile of caftans and  cover-ups.   I don’t even own a pair of shorts, and my legs haven’t seen the light of day since high school.

Although I have lost about 40 pounds so far, I am still terribly uncomfortable with my body image.  I have no doubt that I will reach my goals and I plan to work my way into something a little more revealing than my uniform of black slacks and blazers.  As for this summer, about as wild as I’ll get is black capris!

Living a Red Shoe Life means being comfortable in your own skin.  It takes hard work to get where you are happy with yourself, and it isn’t the same for every person.  I see plenty of women who strut their stuff in all shapes and sizes, and I used to think “OMG, somebody lied to THAT woman!”; however, since trying to figure out my own Red Shoe Life, I have begun to change my mind about those ladies.  I honestly wish I could have that much confidence, though I will always still stick to my guns about leggings not being pants.

As I mentioned, not everyone’s Red Shoe Life looks the same, but I can tell you this; I will be liking myself a whole lot more when there is a whole lot less of me to like.  It’s not an issue, it’s a fact.  I’m not hung up about it.  It’s just the way MY Red Shoe Life is to me.  I may not know what to pack for the beach this year, or if the Hampton Inn has two-ply  toilet paper, but I DO know that on next year’s trip, I’ll know exactly what to wear!  (Anything I want!)